You may have noticed I've been gone for a while. A really long while this time. I've given some thought to just not writing a blog anymore. I guess we all (or nearly all) think about just stopping after a while. Honestly, what's left to say? I originally started doing this for two reasons: I found that a lot of bloggers didn't respond to my comments and someone mentioned that it was because I didn't have a blog myself. I don't know if that's true or not, but after having a blog I always got responses, so who knows? It gave me a way to become "friends" with those bloggers whose voices and outlook I found entertaining and could relate to, and I've really enjoyed that aspect of blogging. But mostly, I started it to enable my family, all of whom are 3,000 miles away, to see what was going on in my little corner of the world. To be honest, after the initial few posts, I'm not sure any of them even read the blog! So...I don't know what will happen. I do know I didn't want anyone who did read the blog to wonder "what the hell ever happened to her?"
So here's a quick update:
In my last post I mentioned that I'd lost my job. Oddly, I really didn't worry. From the moment it happened I knew it was just as it was supposed to be and that I would be okay. I heard someone else describe it as a "feeling of just floating along" and I thought that's a perfect description of how I felt. Like I was floating in a pool. I had to exert enough energy to not flounder and drown, but I was perfectly capable of staying afloat with just a minimal amount of work. It wasn't scary. Mostly it was pleasant and that sort of quiet you get when your ears are underwater, inside my head. Lots of friends offered help and leads and love. I spent an hour or two each day looking for work, sending out resumes, etc., and the the rest of the day was mine. I got so much accomplished, although that wasn't even my goal. It just happened. For maybe the first time in my life I really just went with the flow and trusted. I felt incredible. Incredibly happy, too.
And then...three weeks later, I was offered a job. Although it isn't my dream job, it will pay the bills. It is with another movie-related company, and those are inherently tenuous. And while I can appreciate the yogic message - everything in life is tenuous, everything changes, try not to become attached to the idea that your life will ever stay the same, etc. - I do hope to retire one day, and I'll need a bit more security in the next 10 years in order to achieve that. Even yogis are allowed to do some basic planning for life! I love the woman I work for and the other women I work with - we are a fun group. I will argue with anyone who says working with, or for, another woman isn't just as, or more, enjoyable than working with, or for, a man! This is my third job working with all women and I've always liked those jobs the best of any I've ever had. I enjoy the work I'm doing, but I'll continue to keep my eyes open and see what happens. I stay very busy with this job, which is another reason I'm considering giving up the blog. I might feel differently come winter, but right now, I get home from a long day at work and if I don't have a yoga class to go to, all I want to do is go out in my garden and enjoy a glass of wine while listening to a little Lyle Lovitt (and his Large Band!) or maybe some jazz and see/smell/taste/feel all of this:
|One day's harvest - 42 tomatoes. Thank you compost!|
|And a gratuitous photo of Jack! That's how his eyes actually look now that he's blind. Freaks some people out. He still hasn't figured out he's handicapped, though. What a love.|
I haven't missed reading any of your blogs, although I have little time to comment these days. I don't know where we'll go from here. Maybe nowhere. Then again, in the words of Buzz Lightyear, maybe to infinity and beyond. Hahaha...I crack myself up sometimes.